There's A New Type Of Guy To Be Aware Of In The Dating World: The Lowercase Boys
The next time you strike up a conversation with a man you met on a dating app or exchanged phone numbers with in person, take a moment to assess how he types his text messages. There seems to be a new online phenomenon that uses a particular texting style to identify men likely to exhibit certain undesirable traits. In particular, men who deliberately type their text messages in all lowercase letters tend to be more manipulative than they seem. "If a guy texts me in lowercase, I'm going to assume he's been ran through," one millennial dater told Bustle. "They do it because they think a girl will find it cute, flirty, or attractive. If a guy is thinking that much, that's nefarious and they are likely some of the biggest f***boys."
In case you're not up on your internet lingo, "ran through" refers to a person who has been sexually promiscuous. Young people navigating the dating world are now questioning whether a man turning off his smartphone's auto-caps feature is attempting to make you feel comfortable and casual enough to sleep with him without any intention of fostering a relationship.
What exactly is a lowercase boy?
A lowercase boy is a man who types in all lowercase letters, specifically when he is communicating with a potential love interest. While some TikTok users theorize that this means they don't care enough to put real effort into the dating process, others believe the real reason behind their lack of caps is more sinister. Lowercase boys supposedly do this in an attempt to force a manufactured feeling of safety, intimacy, and comfort that they can later use to get you where they want you — into bed. Most importantly, the lowest form of lowercase boy has no interest in developing a connection any deeper than it takes to reach that goal.
Is every man who types in all lowercase a lowercase boy? Maybe not. According to University of Pittsburgh linguist Lauren Collister, some people use informal communication like texting as an opportunity to express their personal style. "People do that with different forms of so-called nonstandard written language, like lowercase letters, removing punctuation, using slang, using abbreviations and emoji, and all kinds of things," she explained on The Verge podcast.
As women continue to call out abuses of power and inappropriate conduct by men through platforms like the #MeToo movement, men also may fear appearing aggressive in their approach. This overcorrection perhaps leads to phenomena like overly cute, overly-calculated texting styles. So, is acting like a lowercase boy a forgivable offense? That's for you to assess and decide, depending on your own values and relationship goals.
How to deal with a lowercase boy
How you deal with a lowercase boy in your inbox is totally and completely up to you and depends heavily on what you're looking to get out of dating. If you also happen to be looking for a friends with benefits arrangement or more of a good time than a long time when it comes to meeting people right now, a lowercase boy might be exactly what you're looking for. In that case, let your hair down, have fun, and enjoy the safe lowercase banter.
However, if you're looking for a serious relationship and encounter a lowercase boy, beware. If you suspect that he may be manipulating you and decide to continue an ongoing conversation with him, you may be at risk of getting hurt. It's possible that his cute, casual persona was simply a facade to earn your trust long enough to get you back to his place. Only you can decide if proceeding with a potential lowercase boy is worth the risk to your heart and your pride.